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Sexting – What every girl and parent should know

Parents may be shocked to learn that a recent survey* showed 21% of teen girls have sent or posted nude or semi-nude images of themselves via text messages on their cell phone—this is called “sexting”. Also, there have been some high profile legal cases in which teens have been charged with child pornography for sexting. And with teen pregnancy on the rise again, there is cause for significant concern.

Youth are being told that they should not sext under any circumstances and that sexting is bad, wrong, and possibly criminal. The rumor mill is churning with scare tactics. A few days ago, I was reading a blog written by a 16 year-old claiming that college admission boards might reject you based on the content of your texts. However, as I have witnessed again and again in my decades of providing girl specific programming, preaching abstinence around sexting and using scare tactics doesn’t work.

Make no mistake; I do not take sexting lightly. In fact, I am fully aware of the actual and potential harm caused by sexting. Girls are being harassed and exploited, and inappropriate information is being shared through technology to masses in lightning speed. History has shown that a “just say no” campaign is not effective for everyone.

As the Chief Executive Officer of Girls Incorporated of Alameda County, of one of the largest nonprofits in the East Bay serving over 7,000 girls a year, we give our participants the access and skills to use technology at a high level on a daily basis. This makes us responsible for their use during our programs and we are proactive regarding our participants safety. We champion the following:

• Knowledge is power—educate your girls about the risks so they are aware of the chances they are taking and consequences of their actions. Teach them the rules of “safer sexting”**: 1) don’t assume anything you send or post is going to remain private or that it will never be forwarded to others, 2) there is no changing your mind in cyberspace—anything you send or post will never truly go away even if you delete it, and 3) nothing is truly anonymous – you are your email account and your internet profile.
• Actively listen—provide an environment to draw girls into conversations and listen to their experiences and ideas.
• Help build self esteem—provide opportunities for your child to be and feel successful and to recognize positive growth. Give them opportunities to feel empowered.
• Help develop leadership skills—encourage girls to participate in sports, hobbies, social clubs, and to volunteer. Not only will these activities keep them busy, but they can learn skills that will be useful in their future.

Sexting is a new issue related to an old problem. Years of youth development research shows us how to help girls make healthy choices. Teenagers will be spontaneous, developmentally experimental, and take risks to experience life. We know that building self esteem, educating around positive risk taking and implementing real consequences of action are effective tools to help inspire all girls to be strong, smart and bold.

Sincerely,
Linda Boessenecker
Chief Executive Officer
Girls Incorporated of Alameda County

*National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy in 2008
** http://www.stayteen.org/features/sextech.aspx